Perfect Example

Everything Longitude and I do in life takes at least three times longer than it does for average folk. He says it's because god hates us. I don't buy the whole 'god' story, so I think we just have an aura of defeat that follows us. 

Many months ago, I was considering getting an Illinois nursing license. I knew it was going to take forever, of course taking into account the aura. I worried about my alma mater not filling out the paperwork right, or some strange hold magically appearing on my old student account preventing me from ever getting my IL RN license. Within a week, I had every piece of documentation needed except one. I called the Oregon State Board of Nursing and explained what I needed, and they told me that although they had no idea what I was talking about, I should send in the blank form anyway, and include $12.

Several months after that, I had decided that getting said license was a moot point, but I still wanted to know where my check was and what had happened. The evil troll who always answers the phone told me that there's no way it ever made it there because every piece of mail crosses her desk only and she knows everything and it was impossible that it ever had arrived. Of course I raised my voice (it takes an unbelievable force to make me get out my assertiveness monkey) and said, "IF IT NEVER CROSSED YOUR DESK THEN WHERE IS MY CHECK"? I finally dropped the subject, thinking that if it ever came through our bank account I would buy a gun.

A few days ago, we received this; notice the dates on both the check and the letter:

 

Incidentally, we now live just blocks from the OSBN, but I am currently unarmed.